October 2016 – Alayon Inspiration

Where do I go from here

As I was working on my homework tonight, it saddened me. One part of the assignment was to discuss any axieties and fears that we may have about the virtual internship and the final project. I have to admit that it was very hard not to cry.

My anxiety is that I have gotten this degree for nothing. That in the end, when it is all said and done, it was just a bucket list check mark. I orginally wanted it to be a springboard for a nice raise or even to be promoted to work downtown. Then I became ill. I talked to God about continuing. I continued on just to keep myself distracted from my husband and my health issues. Yet right now, I am wondering just what have I done? Have I pursued this just as an escape from my husband? My fear is that my health will continue to decline at a faster rate and it will prevent me from using what I have learned.

Now, please understand, I have had some great intriguing conversations due to my additional education. I really understand economics now (ugh) and the impact our elections in two weeks will have on the global economy. Either way, we are doomed. I have enjoyed learning about strategies, visions, missions and goals. I have had a great time understanding ISO certifications and Sigma Six and don’t forget Kaizan.

The real bottom line is that I have to give it to God again and let Him decide what is to be done with this degree.

So, please pray with me now….

Dear God,

I am coughing hard again. I just want to crawl into a hole. But, You, oh Lord, have a greater plan. I believe that You are going to be able to use me to the very end, including this degree. If there is a special place you would like me to work after December, please let that door be open, obvious and close to home with accommodations for my condition.

I know I prayed earlier this month for a job within 5 miles of home and still in the school system. I just want health insurance to cover my bills and some extra to pay the bills.

I know this is nothing for You. So, I ask believing you will answer me before New Year’s eve.

Should your answer be NO, please give me peace in my heart to accept it.

Amen.

Don’t Grumble over fetching the coffee

One of the things I have learned over the years is the value of a cup of coffee.

My first job in Miami was time and billing for a CPA firm. Due to public transportation scheduling, I either got to work early or late. I opted for early. The head CPA would usually come in early also. He asked if I would be willing to make the first pot of coffee and have his cup ready for him when he came in the morning. I said yes and he taught me how to make an incredible pot of American coffee.

Little did I know what a valuable lesson that was.

As my academics part of my internship stated to use coffee as a networking tool (Chegg Inc., 2016). As an experience, use it as a customer service tool. Nothing diffuses an upset client as a kind gesture of offering a fresh cup of coffee. It does not matter if they accept it or even if they drink it. It matters that you offered it.

In serving coffee to superiors, you are allowing them to stay focused on a task. Also, it puts you in their path (Chegg Inc., 2016). Conversations will start, opinions may be garnered and assignments will eventually be shared.

Become the best at this and other tasks and assignments will follow.

Reference:

Chegg Inc. (2016). Common situations and questions. Retrieved from http://www.internships.com/student/resources/workplace/common-situations-and-questions

God is in Control

I was really upset last week when Hurrican Matthew caused my doctor appointment to be rescheduled. This appointment had already been rescheduled since May. So, I got to go to the sleep specialist and now have an appointment in aobut 3 weeks to do the sleep study. This needs to be done to see if I really desaturate during my sleep or do I stop breathing for any period of time.

I got the usual… You need to lose weight. Why don’t you have aportable machine? Oh, and you need to stop exercising, but you need to lose weight.

Okay, I know I have gained weight due the steriods. I am working on it. Exercising does help me to lose weight, but I can’t breathe. My doctor wanted to me to wait on the portable machine because of the sleep study. Now, they are saying that the sleep study has nothing to do with me desaturating as I move about.

My favorite is when I was told that watching my calories and eating less is the only way to lose weight, exercise doesn’t help at all. I don’t know where that Dr. got that information from. Exercise has always helped me.

So….Once the sleep study is done, I am to get back with the dr to meet with my other drs to come up with a continued treatment plan. In the mean time, I will see if I can get a script for a portable machine.

I will be done with my internship in December, then I plan to do yoga two nights a week. So, far, this doctor is the only one against it.

So, I am back to doom and gloom. I have in the last 14 months gone from your gonna die to your going to be just fine, back to death is waiting behind the door for you.

Now I know why God kept rescheduling this visit. It wasn’t a happy one and in His eyes, it really doesn’t matter.

My Goals for the next 8 months…

1. Finish school

2. Have a party during winter break for my birthday

3. Go to my college graduation in Chicago in June

After that…What ever happens, God has me in His hands. I will continue to work, go to church and serve in Joseph Dreamhouse food bank until I am unable to anymore.

God is Behind the Scenes

I found out Wednesday about some interesting news. The landlord has to raise the rent starting in January. Now, don’t panic. I have been expecting this. I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t happen unless we could afford it.

You see, what I didn’t know is that our landlord is not really our landlord, but his son. So, when my husband became ill and we had problems paying, he took the heat from his father because he liked us. Then when we got really behind and couldn’t pay until the tax return came in, he took more heat from his dad. But, we always paid and never caused problems. His dad has been pressuring him for two years now to raise our rent. In fact, I remember him mentioning that he would have to raise it several months ago. So, he finally told my husband Wednesday that he felt really horrible, but that his dad wants $1200. But, he then told Eliud that his dad will have to deal with $1100 because he is the one who does all the running around for him. I texted him Wednesday night that I was okay with the rent increase and not to worry. I didn’t want him thinking I was mad or upset about the increase when he should be worrying about his family and the storm.

My take on this….Amazing that his dad wanted to raise our rent or kick us out six years ago when this tribulation in my life began with my husband. I see that God used our landlord as a buffer between us and his dad. How incredible that God worked through him to protect us. Even now He is still protecting us.

I know that down the road in the next two-five years we are going to have to move due to my health. I also believe that God will provide just the right place for us at that time.

While my husband was sharing this conversation with me, I just wanted give thanks to God. Only He could have worked this way in another’s heart.

Telling the Truth

My son just helped me vacuum my room and the upstairs. After 10 minutes I was coughing like I had run a mile. So, I put the oxygen on to get back up to maximum and the coughing proceeded to die down. My son came in afterwards and talked to me.

He asked how I was doing with my condition. He commented about how I don’t really talk about it. I thought in an instant, should I lie? No, he would know and get mad. I told him that talking about it makes me cry. He said not to explain. I told him that he needed to know. So, I explained that I wasn’t getting any better and that I am desaturating faster than before. Everything (my treatment plan) hinges on some tests coming up. I explained to him that was why I was so upset Wednesday, because Hurricane Matthew rescheduled a very crucial appointment to treating my condition. He didn’t really say anything.

What is he supposed to say?

I could have told him that I was fine like I do at work. Hey Rachel, how are you doing? Fine. Inside, I feel like there is hand around my throat and a cotton cloud in my brain. How does one tell your everyday co-worker who has their own problems about how you are feeling everyday? You don’t. I have told those that need to know and are truly concerned as to where I am daily.

I am exhausted. Here is picture of what I am working on today to make into a presentation for my final project for one of my classes and what my dog thinks about all my homework.

I have to make this into a 14 slide power point on Publix.

Daisy’s opinion of my homework.

And as a reminder to myself….