Month: December 2016

It Looks Like it is down hill from here

Had my second oximetry and spirometry test today this year.  It has been six months since my last one.  I know that August, September and October were unusually brutal to me this time around.  I wasn’t sure if it was the stress of returning to work, the work air or the palms in bloom.  Well, Even though I have been feeling much better since Thanksgiving week (after the heart catherization- which was normal).  My suspicions of my worsening health have been confirmed.

Oximetry = 6 minute walk test.  Spirometry – blowing in to a machine

Oximetry test – First oxygen reading sitting down before exam.  98% – normal

After first 6 minutes walking – no oxygen assistance – 77% – bad

After next 6 minute walking test with 2L oxygen – 82% – still bad.

After a third run of 6 minutes of walking with 4L – 94% – normal

Never before have I gone to three rounds of walking or needed the oxygen increased.   I am not feeling quite as depressed as I did in June.  But, I did a devotional first and while I was walking I said the following repeatedly…

“I belong to God and He belongs to me.  No one can take that away from me.  He is in control of my situation and I need to be content.  I will stay positive.  I am in control of my mental health.”  Again, again and again.

I have paid for this blog for an additional two years…..Let’s see if I live long enough to renew it.  I am sure I will.

I have told my friends and church family.  I am happy.  I have beat one doctor’s prediction of my condition already.  He said I would be on full time oxygen by this time and bed bound.

I still work, walk the dog, go to churh and volunteer at the Joseph Dreamhouse pantry.  I do not walk as far.  Daisy doesn’t care.  She just knows it is time with me.  I can’t work as long at the food pantry.  The owner doesn’t care.  She knows I am giving my heart.  I may cough at work from talking too much sometimes.  Most people don’t care.  I am there doing my job and helping others.  So I sit way in the back by the doors at church.  That way I can escape should I start coughing or someone’s perfume is overpowering.  If I think a situation may compromise my health, I don’t do it.  Period.  I will make other arrangements to be with that person in a better situation for me.

So, I can honestly say that today could have been tragic for me emotionally.  I refuse to let it affect me that way.

I will continue to fight and enjoy each day.

By the way, I just finished my degree for Business Administration.  On to my next project!

Parents – Get your meeting times right

Dear Parents:

When you agree to go to a meeting at a school, please put it in your calendar on your phone, your post its and on your refrigerator.

Don’t show up two hours late and then get mad because the person who showed up on time for their appointment is taken before you.  If you are running late, pick up the phone you paid an outrageous amount for and call!!!!!!  It takes two minutes.

Most of all, don’t sit there and tell me and the teachers how bright your child is when a team (as in more than 3) of teachers explain to you 5 or more times that your child is operating on a kindergarten level for writing, reading and math in high school.  Face reality.  Your child has some problems and allow us to help the child.

Also, do not expect gratitude that you showed up late or really early.  Your appointment was scheduled so that the teacher could work with you during their non-instructional time.  When you arrive late/early without notice, special arrangements have to be made to accommodate you.  If your meeting has to be rescheduled because those accommodation can not be made, either give consent to proceed without or live with it.  This is your child we are trying to help.

Most of all, let your child grow up and face reality.  It is an ugly world full of ugly people. Learning to deal with that is necessary.  In the process of dealing with the ugly, the child will also discover the beauty that is also there.  You will not always be there to help your child.

Sincerely,

A public servant of the education system

Birthday Holiday Blues?

My birthday was this week.  I have to admit it has been nice.  I actually let myself enjoy being appreciated and gifted.  Last year, I was worrying whether I would even still be functional at this point.  Well, I am!  What a blessing God has allowed me to continue.

On a down side, I have also had paramedics in my office twice for different people experiencing chest pains.  It saddens me to think about how depressing the holidays and the stress is to everyone.  I am feeling the stress myself.  Then again, I was expecting to be bed ridden and permanently attached to an oxygen tank 24 hours a day at this point.  One was a young girl of 17 having chest pains, partly because of her mental illness, the other part because the medication they gave her for her mental illness was causing this side effect.  Which came first?  Who knows.  The paramedics knew her immediately and her birthdate by heart.   That is just sad that this is her M.O. to get attention.  Then the other was a co-worker who is younger than me dealing with a very physically ill husband and two teenagers and family members who keep dying.  No wonder she is having chest pains!  I think I would too.  Having the holidays and the stress to get gifts for everyone causes such an additonal burden that sometimes I wish it was not even there.

So, here I am feeling all high and mighty.  Last year I put up the Christmas tree to make myself feel better.  This year I have gifts for most everyone, but I do not need the tree to remind me of the love of those around me and my Heavenly Father.  I can actually feel the love.  So, the tree has not gone up.  I can honestly say this is because I have embraced my mortality and given it to God.  Only He knows my time of death and each birthday, holiday and day are just a little sweeter than before.

So, if you feel stressed to get everyone a gift…..Stop it.  Offer them time instead.  I wanted to give one of my best friends her favorite handcream for the holidays.  She said no, she would rather go to lunch with me during the school winter break instead.  I can accept that.  I know last year when I was feeling down, I really really enjoyed spending lunch or dinner with friends than getting something I may never wear or use.  Also, for those of us with dogs, we decided to buy each other’s dogs something instead.  Make my dog happy, you inturn make me happy.

I hope this has been some help.