Month: April 2017

God to the rescue

The first day back after spring break started with what could have been a hefty expense.

I took the dog out for short walk to the garbage in our complex and back.  During that time, my husband decided to go down to the car and retrieve some paper goods I had purchased yesterday.  He took the car keys.  As I was returning to the apartment, I see my husband trying all the keys on the ring to get the door open.  I looked at him and told him that those were not the house keys.  He looked at me and uttered an expletive.

I knocked on the neighbor’s door ( I knew he would be up, he has a cigarette every morning when I walk the dog).  He allowed us to use his phone to call a locksmith.  You may ask why didn’t I call my son?  Well, you see, my phone was in the apartment with the house keys, locked.  Also, with the advancement of technology, I have become lazy in memorizing phone numbers.  The only one I can remember is work and church.

Daisy enjoyed the extra time outside.  She got to greet all the neighbors as they left for work this morning.

While waiting for the locksmith service to call me back and let me know who was coming, my son showed up.  He looked at us quizzically.  Unlocked the door, grabbed something he needed for work and left.  I called the service back and cancelled the order for the locksmith.

I kept telling myself while we were waiting with the neighbor that I wish God would find a way to bring Nate back for some reason so that we didn’t have to spend the $200+ for the locksmith.  He answered.  I am so grateful and appreciative.

It did make me realize two things.

  1. Put a spare house key on the car keys.
  2.  My husband’s illness is progressing to where he is unable to think actions all the way through.  He would have never let that happen 5 years ago, or even a year ago.  He would have taken his own keys.  He used to remember that I keep my keys separate in case I lose them.  He thought the process through to go to the car, he just didn’t think about me not having keys or making sure he could get back in.  His focus was on what was in the car.

So, where do we go from here.  I guess I will make sure a close friend has a spare key to the apartment, memorize her phone number and try to not carry so much stuff to the dumpster that I can’t carry my cell phone.

Today was just a reminder that God has my best interests at all times.

 

Exhaustion

As you recall, I have lowered my steroids to 2.5mg for the last three weeks.  I did the labs over a week ago  to see if my adrenal glands are ramping back up.  I did review my lab results myself.  From my perspective, I need to bring the steroids back up.  But, I am not the doctor.  Now I just have to wait for his call.

I am experiencing never ending tiredness or fatigue or exhaustion.  Pick whichever name you want.  I have also been having more rashes again.  So, I did some more research. This is what I found….

  • I could be having a flare up of the Lupus symptoms.
  • It could be my body continuing to go through withdrawals from lowering the medication.
  • The Sjogren’s could be flaring up.
  • Rheumatoid arthritis could be flaring up.  I have been more stiffer this week.
  • I might need oxygen more often in the day.
  • Seasonal allergies could be wearing down my immune system causing the symptom.  The fruit trees bloomed early due to a mild winter.
  • I could be depressed.
  • I could anemic again.

Even with my portable oxygen system (POC), I am still extra tired than I was before when working full-time and doing homework until 11 pm each night.  Right now I am lucky if I can hold my head up past 8:30 pm.  As for yoga in the morning and after work, nope-not happening this last week.  In fact, for the first time in over 4 years, I have used the snooze button.  That is so, so, so unlike me.

Then comes the reality check.  I remind myself that I am critically ill and that this just may be the progression.

I look around at my living quarters.  I see the dust bunnies in the corners, the curtains that need to be changed, furniture removed and boxes from years ago that need to be gone through and disposed of.  All of these make me tired just thinking about them.  I guess the most sad part is that I know I have to do these things alone.  My husband is unable to help and asking strangers (to him) in to help me is just a no go.

I am doing some minor things this next week during spring break (thank goodness I work for the school system) and the bigger stuff will have to wait for the summer break.  Hopefully I can tackle a box a day or at least a week during that time.  I have a respiratory test again this week.  I will let you know later how it goes.

In the mean time, I will continue to tackle each day with grace and thanksgiving.  I was supposed to die already.  It didn’t happen.

I know God will give me the strength or helping hands when it comes time to tackle these daily chores that seem so daunting to me.  He has allowed me to work and provide for my family still.  I am grateful.  I remember that God took a little boy’s lunch his mom packed for him and fed thousands.  Who am I in the grand scheme of things?  Maybe somehow in my perseverance, I am encouraging others.

I shall continue on.  As for my exhaustion, it could just be God telling to me lie down in green pastures for a while.  He knows I have walked through the valley of death many times these last couple of years.