No, I do not want my two front teeth for Christmas. I have spent this summer regifting and donating various presents from holidays past. So…being obsessed lately with having little time, I thought I would expand upon a conversation I had with a close friend who died on the operating table this last spring, yet he survived. He said he didn’t want flowers or gifts in the hospital. Just seeing someone who cared to stop by meant the world.
As I am thrown about in this sea of information, instant self diagnosis, and doctor blah blah, I find myself craving something more precious than anything else in the world. TIME. I was once told that is how children and even pets spell love.
It isn’t that I feel cheated of having time. But, after getting rid of all the candles, body creams and perfumes, I realize that I want something that most people don’t have much of. Due to my respiratory illnesses, the candles, creams and perfumes were nice, but not really for someone with my condition. What do I really want?
Let me give you some examples of what I have enjoyed the most over the last two years in my fight to survive. Mostly it has been taking the time to listen, care and help me.
Go with me to the doctor or labs. I even have a transit pass filled just for a partner. These appointments are not usually happy.
Help me go shopping. I don’t need you buy anything for me. I do need someone to reach the top shelves and bring the groceries up the stairs. Or even load the washer and dryer for me in the laundry room.
Take me to the mall and help me try on clothes.
Enjoy a cup of tea or coffee with me. I usually always have hot water available.
Join me for a guided meditation.
Meet me for a church service.
Meet with me for a pedicure, manicure or even reflexology.
Join me for happy hour at my favorite pub.
Understand that I can’t do evening events. But, on a rare occasion I am given free concert tickets, go with me.
If you feel you must take me out to eat, understand that I have food restrictions. A lot of restrictions. Let me review the menu before heading to a place.
Gifts of soaps and lotions. Ask me my favorites and what scents don’t bother me.
A bottle of wine is always appreciated.
Just remember when thinking of holidays, birthdays or any other reason to get someone who has MCTD a gift. Think about the time factor. Your time with me (or other sufferer) is more precious than any other gift you could give. Most of all, understand that death is lurking around in our minds. You spending time with me takes me away from that reality.
My best time this summer was travelling to Chicago with two good friends for my college graduation. I paid my own way and for our room. I felt totally loved and cared for knowing that my friends put their lives on hold for a weekend to be with me so I would not be alone. Another great time was spending a weekend with my sister learning Reiki.
My path to the end may be short. But your time with me makes it seem more enjoyable.