Month: December 2019

Not feeling so Holly Jolly this Christmas?

I am not going to hide this.  I really enjoy Christmas.  I start planning my gifts for next year as soon as I have given out this year’s.  I enjoy it even more now that my sister is living close now.

For some reason, this year I haven’t been able to quite grasp the jolly of the season.  I am content.  I have food, good friends, housing, clothes, my dog…  Why am I not feeling it this year?

Well……you know I went into self analysis mode…..

It could be because….

  • I feel like I don’t have enough money to get everyone what I want to give.  (notice the I in that sentence?)
  • Work has sucked the life out of our office.  Even decorating the office was hard.  It didn’t help that someone helped themselves to our decorations one night.
  • It is hard to be happy when those close friends around you are suffering.  I want to help, but I am at a loss how to.
  • It is hard to be happy when so many of our students are getting in trouble for THC, vaping equipment and general anger issues.
  • Christmas and New Year fall in the middle of the week this year.  It is hard to plan anything during the week.  I work the weekends.
  • Family issues at home also influence how I react to the holidays.  If the other part of the family is not feeling it, I most likely will not either.
  • I can’t do everything I want to.  Decorating the house is work.  It used to be entertainment.

I could go on and on.  My final conclusion after witnessing so many young women and men go into mental health wards these last few weeks, the arrests for self medicating with THC vape pens and the overall lack of motivation at work, is that it is okay to be content this year.

Decorations at home don’t have to go up.  So someone stole decorations from work.  I need to pray that they use them in honor of God somehow.  (or honestly, what comes around goes around – God will get them.)  Even though I haven’t been able to give everyone what I originally intended.  God provided other substitutes.  Just like I don’t have a good day everyday.  Not every Christmas is going to be Wonderful.  It might just be Okay.   I did get my toes done for a Christmas party.

The point is that God allowed me to live another season with my friends and family.  I should relish that.

May you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Picture from last year.

Esophogeal mano – what?

As I promised, here is the final gastric test I have had this year.  It was called a Manometry (AKA esophogeal motility test).  Once again I found myself subject to unknown torture.  But, after waiting a month to talk to you about it, I believe my perception of the torture is more due to the medicinal fast than the actual procedure.  Please be reminded that I only had one part of the test done.  I do not think I could have handled the second part at all.

So,  What happens with this test?

Let me break it down for you……

  1.  Fast from foods and medication from midnight on.  (no biggy, right?)
  2.   Have a spray in your mouth, then swallow.
  3.  Have gel put in your left nostril.  Sniff.  Swallow.
  4.   Have gel put in your right nostril.  Sniff.  Swallow.
  5.   Have long skinny tube threaded down your left nostril and then swallow repeatedly to get measuring technology down esophagus to stomach.
  6.   Spend next twenty minutes swallowing saline solution (no talking allowed) in various positions.
  7.  Count to 20 fast.
  8.   Exhale hard as technology is removed from your nose.
  9.   Deal with upset stomach, medication withdrawals and sore throat.  Oh, and now be reminded because of GERD problems, you need to wait another 2 hours before eating or drinking anything because of anesthesia administered through nose.  This is so that you don’t choke yourself or cause pneumonia from aspiration.

Actually, the worst part for me is the afterwards.  I take my medications around 5 am and pm every day.  So any time I need to fast for a 9 am appointment or later really throws my body off.  Then you tell me I have to wait another 2-3 hours to eat or take my meds?  That really puts me into a world of funk.  These so called tests cause me to get out of sync on my medication by over 7 hours sometimes.

I asked the doctor why getting out of sync on meds has such a profound affect on me.  He said it shouldn’t, but he would note it.

This time, I had a sore throat for about 3 days.

I did finally get a an explanation as to why I am having a few problems.   I have aperistalsis of my esophagus in the middle.  So, that explains why I have to eat sitting up, stay sitting up for three hours after eating, and swallowing large chunks of vitamins (or food) no longer works.  I was informed that this is part of the condition of having Sjogren’s or Lupus or Schleroderma.  I kindly asked the doctor not to add any further auto immune conditions if not needed.  He laughed and said he meant Sjogren’s.  Unfortunately, treatment is not needed at this stage unless the top muscle or bottom muscle cease to function.

Being a self-diagnoser, I looked up the treatment option.  I did not like what I found.  So, I will stick to liquid calcium, gummy vitamin C and chewing my food 20 times before swallowing.

What about the 2nd part of the test?  Not unless I am desperate will I have it done.  It would mean 5 days without my GERD medication, then a sensor stuck down my nose for 24 hours to measure the acidity in my stomach.  Nope, not gonna happen.  I am all for finding out about what is going on.  I am not for being uncomfortable for a week to know my stomach has too much acid.  I already know that answer.  YES.

I want to take a minute and let you know that I really, really believe that God is allowing me to have these experiences.  Already I have been able to help a couple of people to get help that they need by my walk with Him.  I don’t have to like these experiences.  My last nurse who processed this procedure with me stated that I had such a good attitude and positive outlook.  I know it was God in me.  Because I really did not want to do these tests.  As long as He allows me to wake up each day, I will keep on walking.