Some Relationships Last

I have been reminded lately that some relationships last beyond a piece of paper or what others think.

A friend of mine, her ex-husband died yesterday.  She was at his side throughout this last month every day.   She was there when he finally passed.  Did she harbor animosity towards him?  I think not.  She took vacations with him with the grandchildren.  Her son and daughter still had a good relationship with him.  I don’t know the story behind the divorce.  Nor does it really matter.

It matters that she cared enough to be there in the end for him.

In discussing this with my son, he asked my why I had not left Dad.  He said that many other women would have left a lot sooner.  I explained that I had visited an attorney in the beginning when he first became mentally ill.  I was informed that leaving him would not look good in courts due to his disability and judgement would be for me to pay alimony.  Additionally, when we got married, we promised to never get divorced.  That promise was between us and God.  Have we threatened to get divorced from each other?  Yes.  As I tried to explain to my son, which I know he does not understand because it is a relational issue that has to be experienced.  It just didn’t make financial sense at the time.  God has in the mean time tempered my heart to be more understanding and deal with his idiosyncracies.

It is through this process that I have understood that getting a divorce would not have made anything better.  The years have made me stronger.  This is a hard concept to convey without the other person having gone through it themselves.

So, if you hear of a friend being cordial to their ex, be a little understanding.  There is a relational bond there that you and I may not understand.