Sicker than I feel

Alright, I did this aerial yoga class.  I thought that would be a great idea.  I wouldn’t have to worry about getting up and off the floor.  Everything would be done in a silk hammock swing thing.

Boy was I wrong.  It was the hardest exercise I have ever tried.  I was soaked through within 5 minutes.  The poor instructor had to stop every few minutes to help me, and sometimes even she gave up on me.

I was so proud of my self this summer.  I could do 10 push ups, 40 squats, 65 leg lifts and walk up to 7 blocks.  I really thought I was pushing myself.  After taking this class, I see that I am not where I think I am.

I should be better.  Yet, the reality is that the medicine has slowed my decline, but has not arrested it.  Nor has it made it better like predicted.

Of course, the instructor stated after the class and I was about ready to cry, that I would probably like a different class that was more relaxing and less difficult.  I wanted to strangle her at that point.  I had told her during my reservation that I was not well and was looking to the yoga to help me.  I have taken regular yoga in the past and wanted to try something new.  I asked her why she had recommended the class that she had, she just said that all first timers are recommended to go to that class.

Well, I might be back.  I like the studio, the smell and the attention of the instructor.  I did tell her that it probably wouldn’t be until January after I finish my classes.  (Christmas EVE everyone!!!)  I was told to take the radio frequency class.  It uses the sling, but lower to the floor and more floor exercises.  I have a break again at the beginning of October.  I might pay for that class then.  It will give more time to hunt down other yoga classes.

In the mean time, I am fighting depression again.  I just want to stay in bed and let the world pass by.  But, Daisy has to go out.  She loves me and even makes me smile when all I want to do is scream at the world.

I am glad that I did try it though.  It was a good reality check.  The reality is that I might not get stronger, might not get better, today may be as good as it gets and the first diagnosis of dying in 5-8 years may be the real outcome of this adventure.  Either way, I will do my best and be grateful for each day God grants me and try to find a silver lining in everything.  Also, I slept really well last night after the yoga.  I forgot how nice it made me feel.

I might have to rig something up in the bedroom so that I can do my Rodney Yee discs I bought about 10 years ago.  At least it will keep me limber and help me sleep when it eludes me.

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