Exhaustion

As you recall, I have lowered my steroids to 2.5mg for the last three weeks.  I did the labs over a week ago  to see if my adrenal glands are ramping back up.  I did review my lab results myself.  From my perspective, I need to bring the steroids back up.  But, I am not the doctor.  Now I just have to wait for his call.

I am experiencing never ending tiredness or fatigue or exhaustion.  Pick whichever name you want.  I have also been having more rashes again.  So, I did some more research. This is what I found….

  • I could be having a flare up of the Lupus symptoms.
  • It could be my body continuing to go through withdrawals from lowering the medication.
  • The Sjogren’s could be flaring up.
  • Rheumatoid arthritis could be flaring up.  I have been more stiffer this week.
  • I might need oxygen more often in the day.
  • Seasonal allergies could be wearing down my immune system causing the symptom.  The fruit trees bloomed early due to a mild winter.
  • I could be depressed.
  • I could anemic again.

Even with my portable oxygen system (POC), I am still extra tired than I was before when working full-time and doing homework until 11 pm each night.  Right now I am lucky if I can hold my head up past 8:30 pm.  As for yoga in the morning and after work, nope-not happening this last week.  In fact, for the first time in over 4 years, I have used the snooze button.  That is so, so, so unlike me.

Then comes the reality check.  I remind myself that I am critically ill and that this just may be the progression.

I look around at my living quarters.  I see the dust bunnies in the corners, the curtains that need to be changed, furniture removed and boxes from years ago that need to be gone through and disposed of.  All of these make me tired just thinking about them.  I guess the most sad part is that I know I have to do these things alone.  My husband is unable to help and asking strangers (to him) in to help me is just a no go.

I am doing some minor things this next week during spring break (thank goodness I work for the school system) and the bigger stuff will have to wait for the summer break.  Hopefully I can tackle a box a day or at least a week during that time.  I have a respiratory test again this week.  I will let you know later how it goes.

In the mean time, I will continue to tackle each day with grace and thanksgiving.  I was supposed to die already.  It didn’t happen.

I know God will give me the strength or helping hands when it comes time to tackle these daily chores that seem so daunting to me.  He has allowed me to work and provide for my family still.  I am grateful.  I remember that God took a little boy’s lunch his mom packed for him and fed thousands.  Who am I in the grand scheme of things?  Maybe somehow in my perseverance, I am encouraging others.

I shall continue on.  As for my exhaustion, it could just be God telling to me lie down in green pastures for a while.  He knows I have walked through the valley of death many times these last couple of years.

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