I have been pussy footing around about my health lately. I had a checkup in August that caught me by surprise. My health has taken a turn for the worse.
Yes, it has. I can feel it now each day. Each day gets just a little harder. The neuropathy that was just a prick here and there in the evenings now feels like a swarm of mosquitos. I now take my portable oxygen to work. I find myself needing it at least once a week or more. I race home in the evenings to get to the continuous unit. Every outing seems more difficult.
I went to the movies the other day with my husband. By the end of the movie, I could hardly move due to shooting pains in my legs from the arthritus.
Lately, I am relieved to see Fridays. I find getting up on Thursday and Friday mornings to go to work to be difficult and unmotivating.
These are just a few of the things I am encountering.
I did submit a resume to another job prospect before my doctor’s appointment in August. I am now being asked to follow through with an interview. I had to tell a close friend why I have not followed through for the interview. I had to tell them that I was not comfortable working so far away from home. I also had to explain that my condition had gotten worse. Nothing has hurt me more than explaining to a close friend that I am even closer to dying than previously. I told this friend very frankly. I was going to sugar coat it. Let’s be honest, sugar coating this issue is not going to help anyone. So, I kept the discussion to the facts and how I felt. My friend accepted the news better than I thought. Of course my imagination takes everything to the worst level.
Now, let’s talk about what I am doing to help manage this decline.
- I do yoga every morning Monday through Friday whether “I feel like it” or not. At least 20 minutes. I do try to fit in another 10 minutes in the evening.
- I allow myself an alcoholic drink in the evenings when I want one. Usually about twice a week and only one serving.
- I take the dog to work once a week with me.
- I make sure to walk the dog every morning.
- Take my medications as prescribed.
- Avoid the news. It just makes me more depressed
- Allow my friends to help me.
- Keep my volunteering commitments. I have continued to volunteer at a food bank every Sunday. It helps distract me from my problems. I do wear the portable oxygen while doing this.
- Get help from Customer Service when grocery shopping. I wear the portable oxygen when shopping.
- Take time with my friends as precious and a priority.
- Take time off if needed to recoup and recharge to handle the rest of the week.
I have been diagnosed with further complications with regards to female problems. I am going through the process of diagnosis and surgery may be possible in the near future. I find this a little scary because sometimes I heal fast and other times I heal slow. Since my bruises are taking a long time to go away, I am assuming I am in the phase of slow healing.
My only conclusion at this point is that I am in a flare up of my condition. I am hoping that it will subside and or go into remission. I have further testing in December. At that point, it will be decided if I need to transition to retuxin drips for my condition.
I told my doctor in August that God knows my date and time, a transplant won’t make any difference. Also, after doing a variety of researching, my chance of survival is around 20%. I am sorry, that is just not high enough for me to risk it even if I cleared the process.
I am grateful that my friends have accepted my condition. My daughter still gets tears when I cough excessively.
God has provided for me greatly these last few months. Things have been a little easier financially. I am grateful.
I do not know what is ahead nor how much time is left. I place my hope in God that He will walk me to the end gently. He gives me good days and good moments. I enjoy each second.
May your journey with these conditions be as blessed as mine.