As you can see from my previous posts, I have been dealing with a lot for the last 6 months and even more in the last two weeks.
Returning to work today was nice. Back to the coffee routine, letters, running around (not me, the office aides), and teacher emergencies. I was pleasantly surprised to have a school psychologist introduce herself and let me know she will be filling in on Mondays for the rest of the year!!! I was so excited, I could hardly contain myself. Actually, I didn’t. I talked her ear off. I gave her a list of all the students we need to see before June, introduced her to everyone I could, and explained a few personal things and how our office runs. I then sent a thank you email to the psychology department chairs for North and North Central regions. That was the least I could do. I really did not expect to get a psychologist at all this year.
A well placed Thank You can take you farther than you ever know.
When I got home, it was still cool outside, ( it was 62 degrees this morning), so I took Daisy for a little three block jaunt. We didn’t get to do our usual 5 block walk this morning, so I wanted to make it up to her. She was so happy. I made dinner for her and me.
Then the landlord dropped by. I was surprised. I didn’t really expect to see him for a few more weeks. He asked about the rent. I felt horrible, I had mailed a check. I was supposed to have this month in cash. He understood and we had a nice short chat. I promised to have cash for next month. It is sort of an arrangement we have. Every other month is cash. Our landlord is wonderful. God really placed us here with him. I can’t think of anywhere else I would want to live.
Of course the visit disturbed my husband, whose agoraphobia has been running a little high lately. After the landlord left, he asked my why I had mailed a check when I was suppose to have cash. I told him that with all the doctor appointments and labs and death running around, it slipped my mind. He continued to berate me. I walked away. (I have learned to walk away or tell my husband to go away when I am under attack by him.)
Part of me really wants to get furious at him. How dare he!!! I provide for everything. He has not worked in 6 years, yet he has never missed a meal. I forget to get cash for the landlord one time and you would have thought I had hung my butt out the window. I know that this is his illness speaking. But, sometimes all the understanding in the world does not help. I am glad he went back to the couch and left me alone. Things could have gotten ugly. I work six days a week to keep us housed, fed, and the cars with gas. God provides the clothing through friends who clean their closets periodically. Does he not realize how much the oxygen deprivation affects me sometimes? The answer is “No he does not”.
I am just waiting for him to ask me what is for dinner. I am hoping he won’t. Sometimes it is better to leave the bear (me) alone. It doesn’t matter what I make anymore. It either gives him gas or diarrhea. Or he remembers it tasting better.
Example: He and my son have been asking for me to make mini – cheesecakes like I used to when we owned a townhome for several years now. I finally relented this year and made them even though they make me sick to make them. (The flour makes me itch when I cook with it.) So, I made them. I even took them out of the cupcake pan and put them in a Tupperware to make it easier. He ate four at one setting and then complained that his stomach was upset. Of course it was, those things were so rich you could have a stomach ache with just one. Eggs, sour cream and real philly cream cheese are basis for the cheesecakes. That combo would give anyone the runs who have sensitive stomachs. Yet, all twelve were gone in two days. My son had a couple. Now, my son said they were perfect and wonderful. What did my husband say, “They were okay.” I hate that statement. Then he had the audacity to ask me to make some more yesterday with the leftover cream cheese. I told him to take a flying leap. Just because I had cream cheese in the fridge did not mean the other ingredients were available. He has no concept of cost anymore. Sour cream and cream cheese is expensive. Then add the unsalted butter for the cookie crust. It is a really expensive super rich dessert. Besides, the two days of itching and coughing just were not worth the useless comments from him. He wants me to make croissants next Christmas. Bah! Humbug! is my answer.
With returning to work, I return to doing my homework. Which I need to attend to now anyway.
Happy Monday everyone.