It has been almost 4 weeks with the Stay at Home shutdown of our country. Returning to work seems like a century away. I wanted to take the time to share with you that if you are feeling down, you are not alone.
Unfortunately, Sunday I started down the depression aisle of What If. It took me a few days to get out of that funk. There is just so much uncertainty about work, health, medications and cabin fever.
As a person with immunity issues, going out to the store is whole endeavor now. Now, understand that when I was diagnosed over 3 years ago with my health issues, I had already adjusted my social distancing. I had stopped going to the stores when they were crowded. I stayed away from concerts and any other large gatherings. Now, because I cough uncontrollably and without any warning, I am sure I will be wearing a mask everywhere for the next year.
Back to the What Ifs…
What if…
I have to get tested to return to work?
I test negative for the antigens?
How will I control the social distancing in my small office?
Will they let me return to work with my problems even though I had been wiping down my office every morning previously and will continue?
Will this virus prevent me from getting timely refills of my immunity medications?
Will my spouse drive me crazy?
Will I have to wear a mask in my office all of next year?
Should I wear a mask all of next year even if it isn’t required?
Will I even get to finish the work I left undone? Or will it be back logged to next year?
No one really has answers for all of this. Everyone is winging it.
I got on my knees Sunday and Monday night and prayed for all my acquaintances, friends and family. I didn’t ask God any of the above questions. I know He has an answer. He will reveal each truth in turn and help me do what I need to survive. Each morning He has allowed me to live another day. He has allowed me to help a charity I hadn’t been able to commit more time to in the past.
The biggest part is that I recognized that I was not feeling totally emotionally stable. I admitted it to those around me and continued to push through. I have stayed busy cooking, cutting mask patterns and working for the charity. I am still not to where I like to be cheery and upbeat. But, I am in a better place than Monday.
God has me in his hands. He has all of us in his hands.
A friend sent me the below picture of flowers that were picked at a local farm.
How could you not look at that and smile.
I am grateful to all of you. It is okay to feel blue. Just don’t stay in that color for too long.